In Which Forming a New Family Presents New Challenges

I am now living with two dogs: Rosie, of course, and also Maddy, the little Chihuahua mix that my girlfriend adopted just over three months ago.  Being responsible, cautious people, one of the first things we did upon meeting Maddy was to go get Rosie and walk the two of them together to see how they would interact.  I wasn't very concerned about Rosie, as I've never seen her act defensive or aggressive with any other dog, although she has been known to be too enthusiastic and assertive in her desire to play with a dog that has no interest in playing with her.  Maddy, on the other hand, was an unknown quantity—we don't even know what different breeds might be her ancestors, except for Chihuahua.  She was originally rescued from a puppy mill somewhere in the South, and there were some concerns that she might still be defensive from that experience; she had a small, fresh scar on the top of her nose from a scrap she got in with another dog about food, and a piece of her right ear is missing from a much older fight.  But she seemed so sweet and affectionate, and whatever emotional damage she had accrued did not seem to run deep.  On the test walks we went on with both her and Rosie, they didn't pay much attention to each other, which I took to be a good sign.

So Michelle brought Maddy home and a few days later, Rosie and I came to stay with them for the weekend.  Immediately, Maddy demonstrated some signs of defensiveness.  When Rosie came up to sniff her butt, Maddy would snarl, and if Rosie approached one of us when Maddy was in our lap, then she would snarl and possibly even growl.  As we immediately scolded Maddy and denied her the attention she was seeking as soon as she would exhibit this behavior, it slowly faded.  There were a couple of missteps: the time we were staying at my apartment, and in the middle of the night there was the very brief yelps and growls of a scuffle (it seemed like Rosie, in the dark, had tried to lie down on a bed next to or on top of Maddy and she responded as if threatened), and the time we were up in the country and there was another brief scuffle, this time when no one was looking but we were eating food in the kitchen. 

Still, all of this seemed to fade, and when we were all up in the Adirondacks for a week and a half, the two of them got along very well.  The first night after I moved in last week, Rosie and Maddy slept in the same bed together for a large majority of the night, if not the whole time.  Granted, I kind of believed that what happened was that Maddy crawled into the bed after Rosie was already in there, and then Rosie couldn't find a way out without stepping over Maddy, which she would be unwilling to do.  Still, since Maddy was the cautious one, this seemed to indicate real and hopefully permanent progress.  Nonetheless, there were a few incidents yesterday.  During the day, Maddy was sitting in my lap at one point when Rosie came over, and Maddy snarled.  I immediately kicked Maddy off of my lap and a moment later, Rosie went to sniff Maddy and she snarled at her again.  Later that night, Maddy snarled at Rosie again, and later still, while I was doing laundry, the two of them got in another growling, snarling fit. 

The night before, Rosie had been in an exceptionally playful mood, barking and running around, and Maddy had chased after her, emitting what I took to be play growls as Rosie barked back and ran back and forth, practically begging to be chased.  It had seemed harmless enough, and when Rosie's energy level seemed to be getting out of control, I corrected her and forced her to calm down.  Now I wonder if it didn't make Maddy question exactly how safe she is around this larger dog, and thus bring some of her old defensiveness back. 

Dogs are resilient, and as I and many others have discussed previously, they by-and-large live in the now.  Just because Maddy might be a little defensive around Rosie right now doesn't mean that she will be forever, and Michelle and I certainly did the right things in discouraging the unwanted behavior.  It was still a little rattling, though, and I think it's because of my personal prejudices about Rosie. 

I had very few expectations for Rosie when I first got her, save wanting her to love me in that faithful way that only dogs do.  Pretty soon, though, she established herself as something extra special.  I was surrounded by people who wouldn't classify themselves as dog people at best, and might call themselves dog-dislikers at worst, but Rosie began to win them over.  Some combination of her sweet affection, joie de vivre, and general personality started to make more than one antidog-person fall for her, and eventually for dogs as a whole.  On my very first date with Michelle, she established quite strongly to me that she had very little interaction with animals in her life (I thought she was trying to politely communicate to me that she would hate my dog, when she was actually trying to prepare me for the eventual awkwardness of their first encounter), and four and a half months later she was adopting a dog of her own.  That might be an extreme example, but I have many others of people who would never have considered a dog as ever being a part of their lives and have now begun to think otherwise, in no small part because of their interactions with Rosie. 

You can't please all of the people all of the time, though, and even if Rosie can, she can't please all of the people and all of the dogs.  I think that Rosie and Maddy still get along very well, and I see signs of them behaving like a pack more and more, as they clearly take some comfort in the other's presence.  I suppose that the very few negative interactions I've seen them get in could be nothing more than sibling squabbles.  I'd like to believe that Rosie can win anyone's heart over, and I don't see any harm in continuing to believe it.  Rosie and Maddy may fight like sisters from time to time, but maybe they love each other like sisters, as well.